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Moderator: What are your feelings on defense?
Cain: I have yet to obtain a defense attorney, but... Oh, wrong answer. Come back to me on that one.
Perry: Let's think about what de-fence means for a minute. It means taking down other people's fences. Why don't we stop them from getting fences in the first place?
Romney: I've always been a big proponent of defense. We need more ships, more nuclear weapons, more bombers. We must stop Barack Obama from gutting the military!
Gingrich: [snort] You've been big on defense since the last batch of poll numbers came out... My plan is to open the borders so that terrorist evil-doers with nuclear suitcases fall into my trap. We'll interrogate them no-holds-barred and find the ringleaders!
Santorum: Defense is mostly about money, and that's a good thing. What's broken in our system is a lack of transparent, normalized assassinations and sabotage.
Paul: Well, I think we don't have to ---
Moderator: --- and we're just about out of time. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen!
Cain: Wait! I didn't get to say - we need a leader, not a reader!
Romney: And you need a lover who won't blow your cover...
Disclaimer: Satirical content, no actual quotes
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